Finally got the internet working again after fishing the old battered cable out of the bin, wiping it down and replacing the new cable which refused to work. What's that they say? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Though the thing is, the old cable connector has actually broken so it simply sits in the jack instead of clicking on securely so we thought we'd get a new cable but well, actually it's the other cable and not the connecting one that we'd changed that really needs replacing but that's not possible since it's fixed to the wall. Nevermind.
The weather is looking rather ominous. Convectional rain beckons this afternoon I think though you never know. I went swimming this morning. A measly 10 lengths of the wee pool downstairs. Still, it's a start and on Thursday, if there's good weather, I'll swim 15. Swimming was good and calming after grappling with the silly internet connection for an hour this morning. I returned refreshed and more relaxed, had a shower, put clothes in the basin to soak before handwashing them later and then prepared lunch for grandma and myself. Now I've finished doing the dishes and should be heading out shortly to get passport photographs taken so I can apply for my visa tomorrow morning. I'm going to give Zhiying a ring in case she's not up yet - she's got my offer letter which I need for tomorrow.
Jetlag is still making my sleeping hours wonky though less so than yesterday. I woke up at about 5am and couldn't get back to sleep until it got light. It is quite anxiety-inducing to try to sleep as the sun rises and it gets light. Alarm bells start ringing in your head and obviously when that happens it's pretty hard to get to sleep with all that racket inside. Still, I think I fell asleep at about 7ish as the next thing I knew was that it was 9am and my head ached again. I lay there for a while and finally got up at quarter to 10, a bit late for my liking but well, it was all right in the end. I managed to go for a swim and sort the computer out before my father tries to use it and finds it doesn't work and flies into a rage and then my poor mother has to try to solve the problem.
Another thing about waking up due to jetlag, and not just because you needed the loo, is that you actually wake up and remain quite awake for a while. Yesterday it took me 3 hours to get back to bed and I lay there from 3am to 6am. This morning it was slightly less, just over 2 hours probably, from 5am to 7ish. Yet during that period of wakefulness your mind seems to be in a rush to make up for lost time thinking about things and it goes on a sort of roller coaster ride roving through memories and you are lying there somewhat unable to move and unwilling - you are after all, trying to get back to sleep - and there are all these thoughts flying across your mind. And no points for guessing what kinds of thoughts those were. More of the same.
In the spirit of taking action to allay my fears, I decided to browse the classified job ads in the papers to get an idea of what kinds of jobs were available. I thought it was good to know what's out there, or at least what's advertised so I have an inkling of the job market. It's not promising at all unless you want to be a cleaner and sometimes I'm not sure if denial is a better course of action or if knowing that there are no jobs advertised is better. I guess I'll have to make speculative applications and hope that Singapore Press Holdings starts recruiting again. Apparently they are still cutting costs and cutting jobs and still on the employment freeze. So pop goes the magazine bubble. All this from the horse's mouth too - a journalist friend from the inside. Sigh. This is when the damsel in me starts waving her white handkerchief in distress and prays for her gallant knight to come and rescue her. And then I laugh at myself because evidently he's buggered off and ain't never coming back so save your prayers and think.
There's Isabel's sister who works in publishing too. She's got quite a cool contract that allows her to write in Canada and email stuff over while working for a Singapore-based magazine. I've signed up for the journalism course so I'll have writing samples when I make my speculative applications. Plus there's Eunice's contact for an internship with that accessories buying company though let's hope the GM doesn't decide to retire or change jobs before I can apply for that next year.
Sometimes it's hard not to think to oneself that Hope, really is a case of deluding oneself from the obvious reality that one is faced with, to enable one to keep going long enough till circumstances change, be it external circumstances wherein actual reality shifts or internal circumstances, wherein one is no longer capable of knowing fantasy from reality. Agh. it's half past one. I need to get a move on. Evidently hope can also be sustained by never drawing conclusions, or being forced to stop one's ruminations due to external factors such as being on time to keep appointments!
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