Whoa ... in the blink of an eye, well sort of, time has passed very very quickly and it's 6 months since I last wrote. The months are passing quite quickly now and time is running out. At times I feel that I should struggle ...
do not go gently into that good night, rage, rage against the dying of the light ...
at other times I feel that I have come to the end of and era, that things have taken their course and it is time for me to leave this place I have learnt to associate with the notion of home ...
because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me ...
it still aches to look at the pictures but perhaps there is now some semblance of resignation, of recognition that it was not to be, it would not have been for much longer and it was good when it was whole, but what is left, the mere fragments that cut me, the shards that I hold onto, subconciously cling to, will simply have to be left to cut until the blood runs no more and even now, as I brace myself to face up to the reality of the expiring months, I feel the cold clarity of something that appears to be acceptance come on.
I have not moved on completely. I do not think I will ever move on but things do and I let myself be borne along the tide, paddling now and again, stopping to think about struggling now and again but somehow hoping that divine intervention will chart my course. I feel the threads straining and breaking and I am not sure if anyone notices. Of course not, I do not notice at times so how could they?
I don't know what there is to notice anyway really so I guess maybe suddenly one fine day, I will float away and it will be too late to remedy the situation.
What do they call it? Nature taking its course perhaps.
All the happy shiny people shine on.
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